@bergified: Send me your home address and I'll mail you a personal drawing of your favorite animal as long as its a buffalo.
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@dafloydsta: I have good and bad news WIFE: Bad news first We need a new front door WIFE: And the good news? [points to Monster Truck in living room]
@dildointherough: Dating tip: Photoshop yourself into some of her selfies. Women love guys who are good with computers.
@ArfMeasures: THERAPIST: I want us to share our emotions with the whole group today. Who wants to go first? ME: Me! T: Thank you! ME: [leaving] No problem