@twylaredsun: Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sal0630: Me: I'm gonna make a salad Her: I think the lettuce went bad [opens fridge] [lettuce flicks a cigarette, hops out & pulls a switch blade]
@thatdutchperson: [Person who spends 20 hours per week in the gym] "The trick is to drink 8 glasses of water a day."
@tastefactory: I log in and out of Facebook at the same speed a frightened kid runs down into the basement to grab something and runs back up.