@twylaredsun: Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job.
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@protolalia: Looking for a job on Craigslist. A guy wants to pay $150 to borrow a valid driver's license to rent a car. What could possibly go wrong?
@KevinGetem: Teachers call it "Going to the bathroom". We call it "I'm bored, I'm gonna go wander around school."
@TheSwanDon: So my dad was all "stop eating my pills" and then I was like "stop melting into the floor and spinning multi colored webs you talking lamp"