@Brianhopecomedy: Sent an email to my Mom. Now I'm at her place showing her how to open it.
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@mattgallo123: House arrest? You mean permission to excuse myself from social interaction? Oh no, judge. Please don't.
@CakeThrottle: I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel. It was tomorrow.
@sip_at_home_mom: Toddler misbehaves, but follows it up with throwing his hands in the air and yelling "Ta-da!" so he won't get in trouble. Stealing it.