@Brianhopecomedy: Sent an email to my Mom. Now I'm at her place showing her how to open it.
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@Terdoh: I had a dream where children were allowed to pick their parents, and I woke up thinking "This is not The Gates' residence."
@shutupmikeginn: Me:I think I just saw the main guy from Transformers you know, ol' what's his name Friend: Shia Lebouff Me: Yeah, the one whose a truck
@SmiggieBalls2: *grandpa in hospice* "son your generation relies on technology too much" "no gramps" *pulls the plug* "yours does." beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
@TitansHomer: Failed biology because apparently the answer to "what is commonly found in cells?" Isn't "Blacks and Mexicans"