@weinerdog4life: Serious Question: Can I get a moustache by kissing another guy with a moustache?
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@eeethanford: Son have I told you about the birds & the bees? Dad you're an ornithologist & moms an entomologist it's literally all you guys talk about
@bridger_w: If someone acts shocked that you haven't read a certain book, the best response you can give them is, "Yeah, I heard it sucks"
@TheNardvark: I would describe the cologne on the guy who was just in the elevator with me as "all of it."
@CrazyExhaustion: Went to a public park and my 4yo was like, "Is this Disney World?!" The answer is yes and I'll cut anyone who tells her differently.