@weinerdog4life: Serious Question: Can I get a moustache by kissing another guy with a moustache?
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@kumailn: Batman based his superhero off what terrified him most. If I followed the same logic my superhero would be ListeningToVoicemailsMan.
@ItsAndyRyan: Noah in a pet shop "Two of every animal please" "Want any unusual examples?" "No, just arky-types"
@Sarcasmo718: Most meth cooks start by clicking on an ad to make $500-$800 a day working from home.
@Brampersandon_: [infomercial] ME: wanna know how to lose 15 lbs with 1 easy trick?! AUDIENCE: YES! *a surgeon amputates my leg right there on stage*