@uncle_fescue: Seriously how much of Krypton fell to earth and how do bad guys keep finding it? You're Superman, handle your shit. This ain't a game, dawg.
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@JediGigi: I just heard my roommate mixing some beats except I don't have a roommate and it was my cat throwing up.
@meganamram: Today i convinced my brother for a full minute that the Beatles wrote "blackbird" about Batman
@DryDickRando: Hello sir. Your toddler called me a 'stinky poopyhead' at the store. I've spent 6 days formulating a comeback, and I'd like to own him now.