@SCbchbum: Seriously, if I were a manager at Burger King, my answer to every complaint would be, “You’re at Burger King.”
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@thenatewolf: *A coyote bites my leg in front of a girl I like but I wanna seem cool so I just keep walking and take it with me*
@OutOnTheMoors: Dear USA: Having seen most of your potential candidates, please ditch elections and try the sword-in-the-stone method of choosing a leader.
@Kyle_Lippert: If asked 'Whats up?' respond 'An animated film about the journey of a boy & an old man' then wink & fly away carried by hundreds of balloons
@robfee: I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.