@VictorscarletJ: Seriously...if you need a sign to remind you to wash your hands after taking a shit or piss. Stay home
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@TimHaynesJr: That heroic moment where one of your chips break off in the dip and you send another one into save it.
@mortimermaiden: *stares lovingly at photo of wife and child* *bravely runs into a burning house* "It's empty!" some yell "That was a stock photo" others say
@kelkulus: Pretty sure that "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" is the kid's version of "Saw".
@TheToddWilliams: [boxing match] ANNOUNCER: ...and the challenger weighing 8lbs 7oz, Billy "The Baby" Sanchez CHAMP: That's a real baby TRAINER: You got this