@Lerky: Seriously, soup?
If I wanted to drink my lunch I would go to a bar.
@DomComedy: If Dumbledore did a 'Cribs' episode for Hogwarts, he'd be like "and this is where the magic happens" in every room.
@BonaFideIntent: Daily 'Facts About CHEESE'
Fact About Cheese #3:
"String Cheese. Is not made of string."
@Lazer_Cat_: *gives date flowers*
Here. I murdered these plants for you.
@UrbanDouchebag: Sometimes when I'm feeling lonely, I write a letter to a prison inmate to tell them how much better my life is than theirs.
@Psycholane: Revenge is a dish whose photos I haven't yet seen on Instagram.