@Lerky: Seriously, soup?
If I wanted to drink my lunch I would go to a bar.
@RandiLawson: I really hate to get religious on here, but have you seen the thigh gap on Jesus. DAYUM!
@shutupmikeginn: air hand dryers are afraid of people and when you put your hands near them, well, thats them screaming.
@itshotterhere: 9 y/o daughter: dad, what's your favourite healthy food?
Me: fruits. Your's?
9: like Reese's peanut butter eggs
@KeetPotato: [my first day as hand dryer salesman]
"this robot dries your hands with noise"
@hippieswordfish: when life gives you lemons, use their natural acidity to temporarily blind your opponent