@madmomsdiary: Seriously, Twitter. Do NOT import my contacts.
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@torrami: So when two guys get super friendly it's bromantic, but what about two girls? Can we make homantic a thing? Or 'gina buddies or something?
@professorxavi: *Cute girls approaches* "You keep glancing over here, so I thought I'd come make the first move" *Panics* *Starts making car alarm sounds*
@crushingbort: Some dude just ran into Starbucks, grabbed coconut water yelling "white people milk" and left. Went outside, coconut water all over street
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: *gets all four daughters dressed* Wife: I want everyone in Christmas dresses. Me: But- Wife: Everyone. Me: Fine. *puts on my dress*