@madmomsdiary: Seriously, Twitter. Do NOT import my contacts.
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@TheSchnizzy: Wife: you're so damn forgetful! M: oh nonsense! W: ok, did you get the cat food? M: WE HAVE A CAT??
@just1fool: My daughter asked me if it was illegal to be blind which tells me I didn't explain "legally blind" very well.
@mlinhart: LIFE HACK: If ur phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, rice will attract Asians who will fix ur electronics for you