@desi_princess: Seriously you guys, the only reason to check Facebook, is to find out where people are going, and then go somewhere else.
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@WilliamRodgers: My buddy's PRETTY drunk... So I took the car key off of his keychain... He's been trying to start his car with a house key for 4 hours now
@WilliamAder: The only wisdom that comes with age is knowing which stores have the nicer restrooms.
@DanRegans: People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food
@mayamanion: In my son's class they were talking about allergies, my son said "My mom says she's allergic to most other moms" Super