@BriarSlyMalice: Sesame Street didn't prepare me for any of this bullshit.
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@Brampersandon_: *tightens straps on electric chair* Any last words? -I think male oysters should be called boysters Omg will someone throw the damn switch
@Mr_Kapowski: *sees Deer Crossing sign* *further down the road sees deer nailed to crucifix* "Oh wow, they weren't lying"
@SatansTongue: (First date) Me: Don't let her know you're a satanist Her: So what do you do for fun? Me: ＷＨＡＴＥＶＥＲ ＴＨＥ ＤＡＲＫ ＬＯＲＤ ＣＯＭＭＡＮＤＳ
@notacroc: BOSS: it's national replace H's with F's day ME: really? BOSS: yep, you're hired! ME: hahaha-wait BOSS: get out ME: what the huck?