@Landon8426: Setting a teachers salary based on student performance is akin to paying a zookeeper based on how well the monkeys are behaving.
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@thenatewolf: Me: I have a secret *I take off my wig* Her: I don’t care still I love you *I smile, take off my bald cap* Me: you passed the final test
@mydmac: Diet diary, day 3 I am so proud of myself, I refused to eat the birthday cake. But the cup cakes were amazing.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: At this point the only thing Lady Gaga could do that would shock me is to come out on stage wearing a sensible pantsuit from Talbots.
@RowdyBowden: We're gathered here today to mourn the loss of Derek. His last words were "Watch me try and keep my eyes open while sneezing!"