@ibid78: Sex is a lot like chess. It takes practice to be good. You have to adapt quickly to your partner's moves. You're gonna sacrifice some horses
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mjkspeaks: [call] MOM: please be safe in the snowstorm. ME: idgaf about snow i'm a gangster. MOM: what? ME: i said thanks for calling i love you.
@psybermonkey: Me: I want you to have this bracelet. it belonged to my grandmother. Her: why does it say "do not resuscitate"
@CornOnTheGoblin: [starts to leave the theater when the title appears on-screen] date: no, Get Out is the name of the movie
@DaddyJew: 5: daddy can I tell you a secret? Me: sure thing buddy 5: *grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn't wash my hands