@ibid78: Sex is a lot like chess. It takes practice to be good. You have to adapt quickly to your partner's moves. You're gonna sacrifice some horses
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@StellaGMaddox: My daughter wrote, "I will see you every day of our lives," on my Mother's Day card, so I guess we've resorted to threats now.
@ThatBrenna: *takes cat from pocket of doctor's coat & holds it over patient* He has finished his scan. He says he doesn't like you & you have cancer.
@bobvulfov: COP: u were swerving a lot so i have to conduct a sobriety test ME: ok COP: lets get taco bell ME: no COP: text ur ex ME: no COP: ok ur good
@KKAlThani: Pretty cool how your dreams went from "Astronaut" or "Doctor" to "What's the lowest I can get to pass this course"