@HEYWATCHMETWEET: Sex is a lot like chess. It takes strategy, patience, there's a horse there, the queen is watching.
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@electrolemon: this harriet tubman news is gonna make it super awkward every time i purchase slaves in cash
@perfect_boxx: Women who want to renew your wedding vows.... Why not renew the bachelorette party? You'd probably have more fun.
@BeCoco77: He told me he was my daddy during sex. Then he acted all weirded out when I started crying and asked him to pay off my student loans.