@HEYWATCHMETWEET: Sex is a lot like chess. It takes strategy, patience, there's a horse there, the queen is watching.
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@rolldiggity: The worst part about being a giraffe is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you're sinking into quicksand.
@GeminiJew: If you don't know the difference between a spree killer, a mass murderer, and a serial killer, we can't be friends.
@NoTheOtherJohn: "NOAH. YOU WILL BUILD AN ARK" k "NOT "K" THIS IS IMPORTANT" Sorry "THATS OK. TAKE 2 OF EVERY ANIMAL ON IT" Even fish? *THUNDER* "NO NOT FISH
@hazelmotes1: My wife is all, "we love each other so much we finish each other's sentences," until it comes to a prison sentence.