@HEYWATCHMETWEET: Sex is a lot like chess. It takes strategy, patience, there's a horse there, the queen is watching.
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@sandjoeman: I'd like to apologize to the lady on the bus. I assumed you wanted your hair held back while you ate your banana.
@WheelTod: Somewhere a village is missing its idiot. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I can't remember where I live.
@MariyaAlexander: If diamonds are a girl's best friend how come diamonds never drunkenly make out with me?