@notalogin: Sex is like lasagna - there's absolutely no reason for it to involve spinach in any form.
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@KeetPotato: wife: "you promised you wouldnt buy anything stupid with our lottery winnings" me: [covering penguin's ears] "he can hear you linda"
@brittwastaken: *walks seductively up to table* *licks lips* Me: Come on baby. Just one more time. Him: Lady, I'm not giving you any more cheese samples.