@AJslackie: Sex so bad, Taylor Swift breaks up with you and doesn't even write a song about it.
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@brendohare: The doctors all doubted me. They all thought I couldn't do it. They said I couldn't fight them all at once and well, they were 100% right
@AimeeHelene1: Him: The ceiling is dripping water!! Me: No, that's just God crying. *panics thinking about the ice castle I built for my stolen penguin*