@realHamOnWry: Sex so good, you get out of bed to see which neighbor is having it.
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@SalmaElWardany1: Watching Grey's Anatomy teaches me that if I'm really sad, I should walk slowly down a corridor to a Snow Patrol track.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: I consider myself Christlike in that I refuse to believe my parents ever had sex with each other.
@BadMikeyBad: I may be weird, but everyone needs a buddy who will show up at 2 a.m. and help get the dead zebra out of the septic tank without judging you