@SteveSuckington: Sex with me is like bowling. Lots of drinking and cursing. Sticking your fingers in weird holes. You have to rent shoes.
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@semple42: I really dislike my CW, so everyday I steal a Kleenex from her desk. In about 500 days, she's gonna be pissed.
@Coolisiana: (Job interview) "How would you describe yourself?" I'm very vague "Ok, can you be more specific?" No
@TheCatWhisprer: The only thing I do to get my body ready for summer is make sure my AC is serviced.
@philyuck: Hi I'm here for my vasectomy. "Would you like that toasted?" What? "Haha whoops sorry, just came from my other job. Ok let's do this."