@MoneypennyNaked: Sex with me is like going to the movies. It's dark & very loud. Bring candy. You can never predict the ending. Some people leave early.
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@SimplyNamedTron: How to dress like Lady Gaga: 1. Go to ikea. 2. Pick a object that doesn't belong on your head. 3. Put it on your head.
@dinokitten: *at adoption center* "Okay yeah they're all great and all, but which one is the most photogenic for Facebook and stuff like that"
@theshantilly: Him: What are you doing? Me: Tweeting. Him: Gah. Such a colossal waste of time. Me: *stare* Him: *goes back to playing Candy Crush*