@AbbeYaar: Shades by Gucci, shirt by Dolce&Gabbana, face by Douchebag.
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@JDBooie: TSA training manager: "What would you do upon finding a kilo of cocaine?" ME: "A lot of cocaine."
@pleatedjeans: I should've never taught my parrot to say the alphabet backwards now he drives drunk all the time the cops can't do shit it's a real problem