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@AbbeYaar: Shades by Gucci, shirt by Dolce&Gabbana, face by Douchebag.
@ehdannyboy: *phone rings*
Wife - "Quick! Pretend I'm not in!"
Me - *strips naked and does running man*
Wife - "...."
@pbear79: If you have a gluten allergy I feel bad for you son.
I got 99 pizzas and you can't eat one.
@the_anastasia: Me: So, you come here often?
Him: .....we're in my house.
@VeryLonelyLuke: Being a Jedi isn't all bad.
I've been sitting around in my bathrobe for decades.
@amhw: If anyone asks, we met at a bible study.