@Brentweets: Shadow dancers begin making a mock hanging motion to Katy Perry's singing
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@ranndrew: [Job Interview] "It says here under skills, that you can eat rice?" *Eats rice with chop sticks* "Holy shit! When can you start?!"
@StevieKnip: PSA: If you're about to be arrested, climb to the roof of a nearby court. You are now 'above the law' & literally can't get in trouble ever
@stacywawa1: I just saw a guy put deodorant on before walking into an adult bookstore. I kinda want to date him now.
@SirEviscerate: Sorry the edible underwear weren't edible anymore by the time you tried to eat them. It was a long drive to your apartment.