@withanewname: Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
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@Jade_VK: [campfire] ME: They say these trees are over 200 years old. Man, if trees could talk... TREE: Please stop burning my flesh to cook hot dogs.
@Sassafrantz: Accidentally left my phone at home, now I know how Kevin McCallister's parents felt.
@1InTheStinker: I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it Apparently, she left me a few days ago
@VerbsRProudest: Yes I wore a $900 fuchsia southern belle dress to your kid's baptism. When I was your bridesmaid, you said I could always wear it again.