@withanewname: Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
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@Brianhopecomedy: Bumped into my Ex again. I should really move her to a different part of the freezer.
@mortimermaiden: Judge: The jury finds the defendant guilty. Me: Nooooooooo. Judge: Again, you're the plaintiff. Me: Haha. Oh yeah.
@AimeeHelene1: That moment when your ID badge doesn't work & you wonder: Did I get fired? Can I go back to bed now? Will my 401k sustain my food addiction?