@withanewname: Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
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@WritePlay: "All the single ladies... All the single ladies... All the single ladies..." - list of girls who wouldn't talk to me in high school
@MacAnnabella: My friend's offering to pay for a trip to NY to be her +1 for a wedding. She's probably going to drug me & sell my organs. *agrees to go :)
@junejuly12: He always wanted a surprise gift wrapped up in a big red bow. *carefully arranges shiny red ribbon around a wriggling porcupine*
@radtoria: SOMEONE LEFT THEIR DOGS IN THE CAR WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP -Ma'am, that's a pack of Ballpark All-Beef Franks. ITS 500 DEGREES IN THERE