@JasonLastname: *shakes the ATM like it's a vending machine*
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@RxitWounds: OPEN UP THIS IS THE COPS What's the magic word? [Cut to them back at the station writing on a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off]
@noog: Me: I wish Inigo Montoya appeared everytime “literally” is misused and did his “You keep saying that word“ bit Genie: That ones on the house
@Coolisiana: *saves baby from burning building* "How can I ever repay you?!" Favstar in the bio "Oh I don't have Twi-" *returns baby to burning building*
@215potter: To my future kids: I apologize for the lack of college funds... Blame mom, she INSISTED on organic produce from Whole Foods.