@JasonLastname: *shakes the ATM like it's a vending machine*
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@WilliamRodgers: Always be yourself... Unless you run into one of your exes... Then... Be a WAY more successful version of yourself...
@thepunningman: [landlord showing new tenant around] "No smoking allowed" "How about pets?" "That's fine" [dog walks in and lights up] "We'll take it"