@Iwriteforcats: Shamrocks are the most dishonest of all the rocks.
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@garrettbarry70: Imagine meeting the girl of your dreams and then finding out that she eats spaghetti with a knife.
@chuuew: [Bank] COP: [through megaphone] LET ONE OF THE HOSTAGES GO ROBBER: Okay, who wants out? ME: [spinning on bosses chair] I'm comfortable.