@ElizaBayne: Shark Week is just another made up holiday to sell more sharks
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MrSpoonicorn: "can i smoke in here?" "sure go ahead sir" "thanks" *lights scented candle* "can i scatter rose petals in here?" "erm- "can i dim the lights
@blade_funner: Friend:*terrified* don't make a sound and maybe the killer won't find us Me: *quietly tries to tighten velcro sneakers*
@wolfpupy: if i was the one who drove the titanic i bet i could have hit at least 3 ice bergs before it sank
@MikeBigby: Idiom update: "the pot calling the kettle black" is now "the guy from Aerosmith accusing a dude of looking like a lady"