@ComedySpeech: Sharks aren't the bad guys. If some stranger entered my house in just a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
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@hasht4g: I'll be buried in a spring-loaded coffin stuffed w/ tons of confetti. In the future some archeologist is gonna have an awesome day at work.
@SummerRay: Out of embarrassment, I just told a train passenger I'm crying cos my bf dumped me. Real reason is I'm listening to the Lion King soundtrack
@zachreinert03: My ex claimed I had a 'hero' complex, but whatever I think wearing my underwear on the outside of my pants is a bold & brave fashion choice