@ibid78: *shaves 'I ❤ Dogs' into my chest hair for the Westminster Dog Show but just as I take my shirt off a car full of cats rolls up*
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@Kelly_skeleton: People who have 'taken' in their bio, sit tight, Liam Neeson will around to collect you shortly
@fillthevacuum: *died in your arms tonight* *stuffed in your trunk tomorrow* *buried in the woods the day after that*
@AsgardianRose: Life can be compared to a 'Choose your own adventure' book. Sometimes there's a happy ending; sometimes you get eaten by a bear.
@EndhooS: Fireman: Is anyone else inside the house? Me: Uh yes..my son is trapped in my room he- [fireman charges into blaze] ..HE LOOKS LIKE AN XBOX