@lawking30: She asked for my name, if I'm alone, had me remove belt/shoes & take out what I have in my pants. Interactions w/TSA agents are underrated.
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@JediGigi: Him: I'm leaving you. Me: [can't hear him because I'm trying to breakdance in my bubble wrap suit]
@musicntats: 10: Mom, I know your secret; you're a superhero Me: I am? 10: Yes, I found your handcuffs and a mask. Me: Me: Yes, I am. I'm a superhero!😏
@ceejoyner: Sir, the breadsticks are limitless, not unlimited. You only get one but its potential as a breadstick knows no bounds.
@david8hughes: [parole hearing] "What will u do if released?" "Kill everyone on the jury." "What?" "Buy everyone jewellery." "Aw. Granted."