@earnestaugust: She asked if I noticed anything different about her & I said no. Then I noticed she was angrier than usual.
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@Dawn_M_: My doctor said the claw marks on my face are not from a poltergeist but I should stop trying to put roller skates on cats.
@LuckoftheDraw86: In a room full of idiots screaming their opinions at the top of their lungs, be the guy in the corner doing finger guns with his reflection.
@NotJPo: Give a woman a compliment and you'll eat for a day. Force a woman to fish for compliments and she'll feed someone else.