@pizzajaynow: She asked me to buy Tampons so I bought Kotex, because that one time I wanted ice cream and she bought frozen yogurt.
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@captainkalvis: Her: i think taking care of your teeth is super important. Me: *nodding* i like having teeth because then i can always taste my skeleton.
@robfee: Families in horror movies: *A ghost eats the dog* Hmm probably just the wind. Me at night: *floor creaks*THIS PLACE IS HAUNTED BURN IT DOWN