@TommyKarate: She called and said she didn't have anywhere else to go, so I agreed with her.
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@Incilin: Jay said his mother is a lesbian and came out in support of her same-sex relationship. Rap really has grown up
@ChicorelliStar: Just found out my daughter's super power is repeating what I've said about others as soon as she meets them.
@simoncholland: Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on? Stop talking in secret code.
@OtherDanOBrien: *Lady gives balloon to my son* ME: What do u say? SON: I WILL CRUSH MY ENEMIES ME: *nervous laughter* No, the other thing SON: Oh. Thank you