@omgthatspunny: She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
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@KittyShittyy: *deletes fb account* *leaves social media* *goes to Himalayas* *pigeon comes with a note* *opens note* *candy crush request* *dies*
@daemonic3: *Buys map of world, pins up on wall* *Swears to visit wherever it lands* *Aims dart* Map: I have a boyfriend
@13spencer: An Italian rugby player will miss a match against Scotland after being bitten by a dog; Scotland was quoted as saying "good boy."