@E_lok44: She had a LITTLE lamb?
No way! I watched Mary make six trips to the buffet.
@_Awwsomeness_: You know you're single when the only calls you get at night are Nature's.
@007Pepe_Rex: [15 years ago]
Mom: Use protection. I'm too young to be a nana
M: I'll pay for the Russian mail order bride. I WANT GRANDCHILDREN!!
@DrizzyTheType: Drake the type of nigga to get a wanted star in Grand Theft Auto, drive to the police station and turn himself in.
@BradBroaddus: INTERVIEWER: Why did you leave your previous job?
ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay.
@TheAlexNevil: Me: Speak. C'mon, boy, speak.
Dog: No, I'm mad at you.