@E_lok44: She had a LITTLE lamb?
No way! I watched Mary make six trips to the buffet.
@AndyAsAdjective: It's that wonderful time of year again when the spiderwebs I've been too lazy to clean become functional decorations.
@alfageeek: My wife is getting rid of all the clutter. If you see the kids and me standing out by the street, it means we didn't make the cut this year.
@MisterBombay: If I were a fashion designer I wouldn't spend any money on advertising but rather pay old people to wear my competitor's clothing
@thenatewolf: ME: the internet used to come in through the phone. It made a terrible noise, like robots screaming.
GRANDSON: hush grandpa take your pills
@shopkins776: I'm scared some kid is going to break into my house and fleek me to death with a bae