@E_lok44: She had a LITTLE lamb?
No way! I watched Mary make six trips to the buffet.
@HeyoShellz: In my previous life I was a gorgeous philosopher named Mediocrates
@Parentpains: My ex wife is going through pms, I know this because my car is on fire.
@TheTweetOfGod: Out of curiosity, where were you all thinking of moving after you're done destroying the Earth? 'Cause I assume you've thought that through.
@briangaar: I blow-dried my hair, now it looks like the mane of a majestic lion who is really good at video games
@Gooooats: Avenge me! But only through passive aggressively commenting loudly around my murderer how great it would be to still have me alive.