@2tickytacky: She had soft, black hair, and big, brown eyes. We went for a walk. I told her I loved her. Now she's gone. She took off after a squirrel.
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@BradBroaddus: It's hard to tweet and change the baby's diaper at the same time.nnI probably should have waited until I got to a red light.
@UncleDuke1969: Billy: Hi! What's your name? Johnny: Johnny. B: Hey, what's THAT? J: An iPhone 4. Mom: Who's your new friend, Billy? B: Johnny. He's poor.
@sarcasticmommy4: Anyone know a Minecraft interpreter? I don't understand my son's Christmas list.
@KyleMcDowell86: [Little Caesar's meeting] "We need a new, clever slogan" *everyone looks at Jim* Jim: Um... Pizza...Pizza? "Jim...U just saved this company"