@TinaMav: I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mother's room. I can't believe it... she's a superhero!

@SteveSuckington: Her: Let's each pick one person we can sleep with and the other person can't get mad. Mine is Ryan Gosling. Who's yours? Me: The babysitter

@WilliamRodgers: "My mind is telling me nooo... But my body... My body's telling me yesss...BABY" Cashier: Sir...would you like fries with that or not?

@adamzopf: I'd run a marathon but I don't know if I can handle the commitment. I mean a lifetime of telling every person you meet you ran a marathon?

@RatBatallion: In Canada, Miles Davis is known as Kilometers Davis.