@Beerhaze: She hated my mixed-tape back in high school. Last month she gave birth to her ninth baby. Thanks for saving my life, Depeche Mode!
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@JediGigi: Lady, your baby needs to chill. This is MY Binky. I found it fair and square after "someone" threw it on the ground. Finders keepers.
@HiddenPinky: Hi, I'd like a salamus sandwich, please. "You mean salami?" No, just a single salamus. "People who make Latin jokes are a bunch of ani."
@buhsbaby_baby: If you think my laughter is infectious, you should try having unprotected sex with me.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'd love to hear an actor honestly answer the "How did you prepare for today?" red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes