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@RdrJay47: "She is not fine."
@carlyken: The Shawshank Redemption but it's just me tunneling from my office to the break room so I don't have to talk to my boss.
@TwatWaffler69: Wife: "they're disgusting, they carry diseases, they eat garbage!"
Me: are we talking about your parents, raccoons, or the kids?
@rolldiggity: Whenever I see a whirlpool, I scream, "Help! That tornado can't swim!"
@prettysadmostly: you got mad on your own you can get happy on your own
-me giving a baby advice
@Donna_McCoy: It's like campers and hikers don't understand that nature will come to you if you just don't mow the lawn.