@Parentpains: "She must be shy" is probably what I say to myself the most when a woman abruptly moves across the country after talking to me.
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@chrissyteigen: Does the baby have access to my ribs? It feels like they're bars and she's an old timey prisoner with a tin mug
@Rollinintheseat: Lois Lane: "Clark, have you given any thought to contact lenses?" Clark Kent: *starts sweating nervously*
@13spencer: People who like "The Bachelor" are like racists; you know they're out there, but you just hope your friends don't feel that way.