@Manda_like_wine: She often thinks about what life may have been outside the asylum, had the cashier refrained from putting her change on top of the receipt.
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@SuperJuanderer: If a spider attacks you, you should play dead. No, wait... that's for a bear. If a spider attacks a bear, you should play dead.
@Douchekevin: I eat the free samples at Costco for lunch every day. I'm adding 'enjoys eating out' to my dating profile.
@RandiLawson: I really hate to get religious on here, but have you seen the thigh gap on Jesus. DAYUM!
@Storminika: My kid needs me to help him with a report on any famous black scientist. Can we do Dr. Dre?