@faizziy: She once called me bae so I had to baeurry her in my backyard..
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@dril: the neighborhood teens have left so many burning bags of garbage on my lawn that everyone thinks that this is the place you burn garbage now
@internetluke: "No, no. No! NO!" - guy who invented black ski masks after people started using them for robbing
@ieatanddrink: A gentleman never eats his soup by soaking it into his tie and squeezing it out into his mouth
@Paxochka: Pope joins twitter. Quits being Pope. Takes twittercide to a whole new level. Your move, drama queens.