@SortaSarcastic: She promised to teach me wax on, wax off. Only now my chest is bare, I'm frightened of candles, and pretty sure I still don't know karate.
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@what_eve_r: my aunt: why u kids always on them phones cant u have a real conversation me: *puts down phone* *crosses legs* why did u melt the ice caps
@tastefactory: DOCTOR: You've suffered a brain injury. It's affected your hippocampus ME:What? Lol sorry I was picturing hippos at college. Who are u again
@dysondoc: The new jumper I bought kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back and they exchanged it for another one free of charge.