@jake_lach: She said I'm 'barely tolerable,' which means there's still a chance
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@envydatropic: Do people who swirl and sniff their wine in the glass know that it tastes just the same straight from the bottle? Amateurs.
@shelbyfero: My safe word is "keep going." It's led to some HILARIOUS miscommunications let me tell you!
@maddyalou: Son: Will you please just try to act normal today? Me: You're going to have to be more specific.