@jake_lach: She said she hates my analogies and wishes I would communicate like a normal person, but that's like telling a samurai not to use his sword
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@Parker_Simpson: If ur a guy riding on a motorcycle with another guy, it's best to sit facing each other. 1 man mounted behind another that just looks bad
@DomBorrett: Grandma: 'And that's how me and your grandfather chose the colour of toaster in our first home' Me: 'So you haven't seen my scarf?'
@brunopieroni: Does WebMD ever just say "you're fine, there's nothing wrong with you, go play outside you drama queen?"