@earfdae: She said she wanted to bump uglies. So, naturally, I got all showered & freshened up and then I rammed my Ford Pinto into her Honda Element.
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@DvuslyMarvelous: [At Mexican Restaurant] Me:asks for food to be spicy hot Waitress: how hot? Me: Waitress:my people hot or your people hot
@StinkyGr33n: [Movie pitch in Hollywood] A mythical creature who likes to dance moves to a small town where dancing's illegal. We'll call it BigfootLoose
@rockymomax: [kissing at a bar] HER: wanna get out of here? ME: (glances over at the menu and sees they have potato skins) not really
@internetluke: [finds money in jacket] nice [finds more money in pants] Today is my day. On a roll Boss: will you please take my jacket & pants off?