@TheAlexP: She said "you look like trouble"...so I nudged her down the stairs, because I don't like people falling short of their expectations.
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@Fred_Delicious: Apparently the rebooted bible will feature a female Jesus, and Moses will be a raccoon
@internetluke: [sex ed in middle school] Teacher: "Today we are having sex ed" Ed: hell yeah we are! Teacher: "Education"
@Darlainky: -That toaster oven looks worn out. Why are you still using it? -Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times.