@TheRolo: She says she only drinks wine to collect corks for her Pinterest project, which is pretty cool cause it looks like she's building a castle.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WilliamAder: I spend an awful lot of time picking the most desirable potato chips out of the bag for someone who's going to eat them all anyway.
@bobvulfov: [after an accident on the ski slope] ME: did i nail the triple backflip PARAMEDIC: u choked on a tootsie roll and fell off of the ski lift
@sageboggs: The Commandments 1) def don't kill 2) no stealing, obvs 3) don't say my name? idk 4) luv ur neighbs! 5) but don't LOVE-love them, that's bad