@TheRolo: She says she only drinks wine to collect corks for her Pinterest project, which is pretty cool cause it looks like she's building a castle.
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@therealeatwood: SATAN: Turn these stones into bread JESUS: No SATAN: Turn them into raspberry swirl cheesecake JESUS: [clenching eyes shut] No
@LaziestCanine: *beats a guitar hero song on expert mode* *changes Twitter bio to "musician/songwriter"*
@mostunladylike: [Record Shop] Me: Hi, have you got anything by the Doors? Shopkeeper: No, we have to keep all exits clear in case of emergencies.