@youcancallmesim: "She sends things to strangers on the internet and no one even cares but she keeps doing it" - my dad, explaining me on twitter to my aunt.
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@AngryRaccoon2: 14: Wanna play a game? 12: Sure! 14: Do an impression of Mom 12: Oh that's easy 14: WITHOUT SWEARING 12: Forget it. The end.
@PanicRestroom: It's like grandma always said... In a car with a sunroof, you have more room for your legs
@LuvPug: It's like the people who drive Smart cars don't even realize that other cars are an option.
@ThatBrenna: People are like snowflakes. When they pile up on my car windshield, it's difficult to drive.