@youcancallmesim: "She sends things to strangers on the internet and no one even cares but she keeps doing it" - my dad, explaining me on twitter to my aunt.
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@Guinz: You were all Pluto's not even a planet and now you're watching it from your space car all slow and creepy like. Jerk.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Watching my mom use an iPhone is like watching a 12 year old girl try and contact her dead grandma on a Ouija board.
@timdonakowski: Thousands of married racists are waking up this morning and questioning the skin color of their spouse.