@youcancallmesim: "She sends things to strangers on the internet and no one even cares but she keeps doing it" - my dad, explaining me on twitter to my aunt.
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@patrickhogan91: *Frankenstein arrives with his monster at a bodybuilding contest* "Oh, you meant... you meant it like... ugh. Well that was a waste of time"
@RidiculousSheri: He died doing what he loved, annoying the hell out of me and not believing I would stab him.
@SkunkFarts: The American flag should be a picture of a cheeseburger watching TV on a couch made of fries.