@slimmy_shady: She told me she'd do anything for 20 bucks. Guess who just got his Mustang washed.
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@nickbilton: The revolution will be tweeted. The sunset, Instagrammed. The relationship, Facebooked. The storm, Vined.
@iwearaonesie: 9: What are you going to be for Halloween dad? me: Drunk 9: What's mom gonna be? me: Mad
@Wakenbake77: I hate when I'm beating my grandma in Mario Kart and she kicks the controller out my hands.
@ramenfuneral: when i was a kid, i thought getting arrested for shoplifting meant getting in trouble for trying to carry a store like popeye or something