@slimmy_shady: She told me she'd do anything for 20 bucks. Guess who just got his Mustang washed.
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@Home_Halfway: WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: Actually it's just emotional comfort after years of being toget- WIFE: *packing* I'll be at my mothers
@CroweJam: There's a bald spot in my yard so I'm gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.
@greg_vee: If intelligence runs in your family, I can only guess it tripped and fell before it got to you.