@slimmy_shady: She told me she'd do anything for 20 bucks. Guess who just got his Mustang washed.
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@voldemortsbicep: *in bed* Him: what's your fantasy, baby? Me: Scrooge McDuck but skittles instead of gold Him: No, like sexual Me: Scrooge McDuck but skittl-
@daemonic3: [interview] What's your greatest weakness? ME: Probably avoiding tough questions Can you elaborate on that? ME: Oh hey look at the time!
@donquixote229: I saw a car with a flat tire so I offered to help. She tells me to hurry cause she has a hair appoinment..This is how serial killers r born