@slimmy_shady: She told me she'd do anything for 20 bucks. Guess who just got his Mustang washed.
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@NotThatKristi: My jeans say "no more Christmas goodies" but my leggings are like "we got you, gurrrl"
@jerm1991: Day 3 in the desert: I have somehow gained the respect of some birds as they are circling above me in some sort of protective formation
@bridger_w: I wonder how smart I'd be if my brain were as good at remembering anything as it is at remembering every humiliating thing I've ever done