@sarousti: She uses her boyfriends toothbrush without his knowledge and wears his underwear every day....I eat a dog biscuit ONCE and I'M the weirdo???
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@dietredbull: If we had gender equality we'd ALL give birth through our ass. And no more Men from Mars & Women from Venus, everyone would be from Uranus.
@TinaraMinus10: Hmmm, why don't we try reincarnation. Here, take this razor blade and I'll leave you alone for a few moments... -me as a therapist
@Mikecanrant: A guy with a locked account just asked me why I never retweet him. Stay in school kids.
@murrman5: *walks in house wearing a large neck brace* oh no, what happened? "my earbud cord got caught on a chair while I was walking"