@stephenjmolloy: Security: Animals aren't allowed in this art gallery, sir.
Me: It's my guide dog.
Dog: Picasso, born 25/10/1881, was a Spanish painter...
@viciousbabydoll: I'm all "class".
The first two letters really aren't necessary.
@envydatropic: *Draws happy eyebrows on my dog*
@WheelTod: [Office meeting]
*I stride in, straddle a chair:
Yo Guys. Listen up
Boss: Turn around Frank. We can't hear you when you're facing the wall
@kyle_thatisall: Netflix would be by far the best dating site. "Here are 9 other singles in your area who have also watched Pokemon for 12 straight hrs"
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